Improving Your Relationship with Self-Awareness

Excerpt from the audio file

“Our first module is self-awareness. It is designed to be the first module because the idea of knowing oneself is the key to happiness is one of the most important keys to happiness. It helps you really know what’s going on. And when you come into the relationship, you bring that awareness to the relationship. A happy relationship is defined by both partners being committed to the self. And being committed to being in an open, accepting, loving, humankind relationship.

In a happy relationship, you want to have your better self being present, you are always working on your better self, and also helping bringing the best of your partner out. So it is a constructive, edifying relationship. And it’s got to be seen as a concept that I used in the medical field, and is continuous quality improvement with love. That’s how I like to call it continuous quality improvement in ourselves and in our relationship. But the underlying fundamental background of it all is to be in a sense of love and acceptance, which can vary and we will speak more about that in the next few presentations. 

I have worked as a psychotherapist and also a lifestyle coach with numerous couples. And one of the basic topics that we touch upon is how to keep the relationship thriving. It is normal to have a relationship sometimes that doesn’t thrive, and it becomes a stagnant relationship. But relationships are really stimulate our better selves or those that are thriving. Instead of just surviving. There are two important strategies to allow relationships to support relationships to thrive. One is self-awareness, which is what we’re speaking about in this module. And the other one is positive communication skills. These two components help relationships, have stability, have security, have safety. For example, some aspects of positive communication skills is to resolve things timely to use honesty. And we will talk about this more but right now we’re going to concentrate on new and your self-awareness.

Self-awareness consists of many, many things, but there are two crucial questions that arise. Who am I? Who am I? What am I bringing into this relationship? What are my beliefs? What are my family values? What are my developed values through the experience of life? What are my expectations?? It’s a very, very complex thing, we’re complex beings. And if we don’t know ourselves enough, it’s really hard to venture into another relationship. So that’s why that relationship with ourselves become so important. There’s a very interesting illustration. In the Pueblo Indians, the artifact of the wedding vase, the wedding vase is quite a beautiful boss that has gorgeous designs on it, and it has two spouts. And then there’s, of course, it connects to the body of the boss. And the whole idea is that you can drink individually from the same common fountain, but the individuality within wherever you are, that is what needs to happen. your authentic self needs to be present in whatever relationship you are evolving. As a result of this illustration, one of the exercises that I want you all to do, as a couple or individually, however, you are listening to this particular module, to grab yourself a piece of paper, and you’re going to put a plus sign and a minus sign on top. And you’re going to do a line in the middle and the positives are going to represent your personal positive traits. And the negative is going to represent your limitations. This is an exercise to expand your own view of what you are like your whole as a whole we bring our positives and our negatives our darkness in our light and we bring it in the most important thing is to bring it as a whole to love our darkness and to bring it into our light to be able to be whole.

Do this exercise as a practice of self-awareness. It is an invitation to take time to breathe and be reflective. The main goal is to know yourself better and be reflective in the process rather than judgment of any particular behavior.”